A Coors Hoodie
This afternoon I was lower than I’ve been in a long time. There is an occupying force in the Twin Cities. ICE, DHS, Border Patrol. On Thursday morning I saw masked agents of the federal government up close for the first time. I saw the strange and volatile combination of authority and absolute bozo shit mixing together. Young men, a generation younger than me, wielding guns, detaining another young man who came to protest and made the mistake/awesome choice of bringing a trombone. These agents are wielding huge ass guns and FLAK vests. And also wearing regular ass clothes. A black hoodie that says “SPIDERZ” on it. A pair of clean AirMax 90s. A Coors hoodie. The man who might end your life is wearing a Coors hoodie and a mask. Minneapolis is again ahead of the curve in the worst possible way. The country has changed. The country is not yet unrecognizable. But the Twin Cities are. The lies aren’t lies. The authorities are not to be trusted. There are secret police who answer to no one I don’t hate. My lawyer friend doesn’t think Jonathan Ross will ever set foot in a courtroom. He hasn’t been fired. Why would he be? Is anyone above him disgusted by his behavior? Does Noem know she’s lying? Does she give a shit?
The community is out on the streets. If you follow Elliott Payne on IG you see him and State Senator Doron Clark out on Central, following ICE, slowing them down, supporting their neighbors, making shit hard for ICE. The man who might’ve detained fewer people today is wearing a Coors hoodie and a mask. Wounded, cowardly, under-trained power is wearing a Coors hoodie and driving through our state for nothing. For no purpose. This is the largest deployment of ICE agents in the history of the agency. The largest deployment to the 16th biggest metro area. They had less agents in Chicago. This is fatal theater. This is scare tactics. Your traveling domestic terrorist is wearing an almost-khaki Coors hoodie he probably won at a bar.
Realistically, if you were going to protest, you would’ve already. If you are goldilocks for what you’ll protest about, this is the perfect porridge. If you were going to donate, you would’ve. If you were going to run to ICE raids and observe, you would’ve. But it’s a long winter. And there’s a lot of agents. And there’s more flying in. And it’s not getting better. Jonathan Ross is not going to jail. More residents will be killed. Like most Sundays I spent the morning talking with Martin over coffee. But there wasn’t any bright spot to linger on. Our communities are stepping up. We are seeing mass protests. Danielle at the coffee shop prints out the “this is private property, ICE not welcome here” cards and puts them up on the window.
We are seeing a mobilized force gumming up the works for ICE. Good. Slow this useless and inhumane work down. It’s young men, in Coors hoodies, poorly doing a job that doesn’t need doing. All of this will not put a dent in any actual immigration problems or numbers. None of this advance a remotely measurable goal at scale. This is a war inside our borders. We are at war with a young man in a Coors hoodie, being supervised by a slightly older man in fatigues, all the way up to an old man in Washington D.C. pretending to be king.
Right when COVID hit my brother-in-law in Seattle called me and told me that he was calling from the future. Seattle was getting COVID a couple weeks early but here’s what was going to happen. That’s where Chicago was two months ago and where the Twin Cities are right now. We have now what you have coming. Poorly trained agents are going to come fuck shit up and kill people and move on. Our communities are slowing them down. Our communities are making them look like clowns. But they are a disgustingly well-funded secret police force. The enemy is staying at Hilton Hotels. The enemy watched Training Day last night. The enemy stood in front of a waffle maker and looked at his phone before a day of banging on the doors of innocent people and fucking up their entire life. The enemy is wearing a Coors hoodie and on the day he kills you he’ll sleep in the same hotel that night.