Can You Pretend It’s Normal? Why?
I’m having a hell of a time pretending that the normal course of business and of life will continue somewhat unabated before the election and will then continue in some normal fashion after the election. We are in a pandemic, a life threatening pandemic, but there are restaurants that owe my trivia company money, there are programming ideas that need to get done for Purple Current and the Current. All I want to do right now is raise my kids, play music on the radio and talk to my friends in a yard. Everything else is terrible. And it’s fake terrible, these functions of life have to keep happening. They have to happen differently, but creators have to create, collectors have to collect. It’s painful to just grind into this Monday and try to do my normal life functions with so few of the life functions we used to have. How much energy could I derive from a regular old Heiruspecs rehearsal, or a show? How much enthusiasm could i find in a trip to the gym, that recentering feeling you get. You have to get it the way you can, you can get something off of lifting weights at home, off of doing an exercise video. There are substitutions, but especially once the weather gets bad we are going to have to seek analogues for so many things. I simply am not ready to face that, and aim to be legit productive and ambitious. And I feel as though I have to be. Being productive and ambitious is at the center of my identity, and finding that spark to stay that way in the face of everything about our world is eluding me super hard today. Dear void I scream into, have a wonderful day!
What Albums Taught You How To Make Music
John Birge, one of the DJs on Classical MPR drives a small fancy old car. I would notice his car even if we were both doing 70 on 94. So when I saw him in my neighborhood I was curious why. I asked him at work, turns out he lives nearby but was making his way to Jefferson and Snelling to see a big collection of maple trees that all turn scarlet at the same time. This struck as the most classical DJ thing in the world to do, but also something pretty incredible to see. So this morning, when I went out on my walk I made sure to get to Jefferson and Snelling. Friends, it was majestic. On my way up Jefferson I was finishing an episode of the NY Times podcast “The Argument”. This wasn’t exactly easy listening, I have a hate hate relationship with David Brooks though I generally do still seek out his writing and thinking. And he was pretty legit on this episode in my opinion. But I promised myself that on the way back I would listen to one of the greatest jazz records of all time “Somethin’ Else” by Cannonball Adderley.
In particular I wanted to hear their version of Autumn Leaves. It opens the record and it establishes the magic of this record. Miles Davis is wrapped up in constantly setting the vanguard for music. But for some reason he commits to taking second billing to the alto player from his own band. So what we are basically hearing is Miles Davis’ full ensemble working without the pressure of being Miles Davis’s Full Ensemble. The collection is relaxed, bluesy and friendly. It is vastly less ambitious than Kind of Blue and I am not mad at that in the least. As I let the sounds of Autumn Leaves surround me while enjoying the actual Autumn Leaves of Jefferson Ave I thought about to how many spins this record got when I was in high school. Although this album is not my favorite jazz record (Hank Mobley’s Soul Station is) I learned a lot about how I wanted to play jazz on this record; switching feels, bluesy solos, solid 1/4 note walking, brushes to cymbals, trading between horn players. Your favorite records aren’t necessarily the ones you learn the most from. I love Pearl Jam, but I’ve never really played rock the way they do. I think Lil’ Wayne has produced some of the best hip-hop in the history of the genre, but I haven’t taken a bunch of tricks from his records.
So I think I’ve learned the most in jazz from Somethin’ Else. Here’s what I’ve got for rock and hip-hop.
No, it’s not his best record. It might not even be his second best record (that’s debatable), but It Was Written gave me so many tricks for hip-hop arrangements and more. The actual track Street Dreams has almost every trick on it that Heiruspecs has used for arranging our own music - two measure pause before a huge snare on beat 4, drop out or lower the volume the sampled snares on selected 2s and 4s to emphasize the lyrics, add extra reverbed out snare hits. Plus, roll out all these tricks out slowly so there is an established sense of what the groove is before you start changing things. I give credit to ANT from Atmosphere for pointing this out to me. Heiruspecs was doing too much too soon to our beats on a lot of our songs, that change helped us a lot in my opinion.
Beyond the tricks, this album was actually very digestible as a live musician thinking about working in a live music format. Most of the songs can be communicated in a live band format, as opposed to early Wu-Tang records, which I think are often better than It Was Written, but didn’t have the same inspiration potential as a musician. It would also be disingenuous to not mention the Roots in this conversation: I think “It Was Written” gave me more lessons in how to support great rappers but the foundation on how to connect a band with a great rapper goes back for me to Organix, Do You Want More??!? and Illadelph Halflife.
I haven’t spent a lot of my career playing bass in honest to goodness rock bands. I’ve never felt completely right in a “rockin’ band” ala Pete Seeger et cetera. I’ve been drawn to blues and I’ve been drawn to rock music done weird. And to me Kill the Moonlight by Spoon is the ultimate rock music done weird record. The pauses, the patience, the willingness to delay gratification. I worshipped it and I think that in my work with Ela’s Stapled to Air (the rock project I am by far the most proud of in my career) we were aiming at the Spoon thing so hard. I remember the way that Peter Leggett (drummer) and I worked on the music. . .it was to find the skeleton, to add the special sauce while removing the burger. And in the world of Spoon at this time, the bassline always had to have a point, had to make an impact. I’ve been so comfortable in my career playing the root notes and making it work, but there’s something special going on with almost every moment of bass on this record. That’s how I aspire to approach rock bass playing.
It’s Okay to Go Slower
I’m paying the thirteen dollars a month on the website mainly to keep me off twitter and it’s not working. I had vacation from my job at MPR all last week but it was impossible to look away. It would not be an understatement to say that all the shit hit all the fans at my job. I also have a friend facing serious health issues right now. So it wasn’t the staycation you might imagine. I didn’t order in pizza and walk around downtown. I did a couple projects around the house including painting my porch, I worked on my solo album, I did a little work for Trivia Mafia and I watched Slack channels blow up at my job.
It wasn’t a fun week, and this week isn’t sizing up to be fun. I will find some fun, I will have fun with my kids. But there is terrible shit going on right now in my life and in everyone’s life. There are billions of people who have it notably harder than me at every turn. But I am hitting plenty of struggles right now and it feels terrible. That doesn’t mean I won’t get past it, that doesn’t mean I won’t figure it out. But things are going to be slower for awhile.
I have to work fast this week because I have a lot of demands at work, but I’m going to make my way. But I’m going to stop wondering why there s so much stress. There just is, I need to fight it when I can, but sometimes it’s okay to go slower.
I did on my vacation get a chance a couple times to really slow down. I sat inside a bar (first time for me) and drank three drinks and watched an NBA game. That was wonderful. The joy of hearing humans talk, of hearing the bartender job flirty say “I hope we’ll see you back here again soon”. There is so much magic when humans are just around each other.
But it is okay to go slow, I promise.
How To Be An Anti-Racist and How To Do Nothing
I’ve been trying to read more and trying to stay a little more off social media (aren’t we all). One of the reasons I’m paying $12/month for a squarespace site is to be able to type my thoughts here and stop looking for the minor joy of someone liking a post and instead enjoy the long lasting feeling of having put some little thing into the universe.
I bought Ibram X. Kendi’s book a couple weeks after George Floyd was murdered. I had heard him on a podcast and enjoyed it, but I didn’t feel the desire to dive deep. The book is simple in the best possible way: he picks out a handful of points and drums them home with discipline. Many folks have complained about the memoiresque elements of Kendi’s telling. . .he brings a lot of himself into the story. I have zero complaints about this. It helped me digest his journey and his arrival.
Ibram X. Kendi is 100% on team “black folks can be racist” and I grew up playing for the opposite team. Probably at some point in high school or college I was turned out to the idea that a black person treating a white person negatively solely for that reason was not a racist act, the basic idea being that a black person treating a white person negatively is a drop in the bucket and black people in total are not endowed with enough power in our world for that one black person’s negative treatment to tip any meaningful scale in the white person’s life. As I walk through this paragraph I realize I have less disagreement with Kendi than I thought. In that section of his book the big argument is that black people in a position of power can still be racist to other black people. I find that to be 100% true and if one is acting out racist policies you are certainly not dropping anything in the bucket, you are doubling down on racism. So yes, I think that black people can be racist towards black people. I still don’t think that racist is the right word for black people treating white people negative purely on the merits of their race. I believe it is a prejudice, but I do believe that racism on an individual level should be reserved for any actions that align with systemic racism, meaning negative treatment of whites based purely on race does not rise to the level of racism in my world.
I didn’t walk away greatly changed by Kendi’s book, which is not a knock on the book. I agree with the principles of the book, I believe that being a neutral actor in regards to race is a fiction, if you are neutral you are relying on the momentum of a racist society and thus tacitly co-signing on racism. I have to think more about what my takeaways will be from the book; at the time of the reading I let it wash over me and moved on.
I have moved on to Jenny Odell’s “How To Do Nothing” book and I’m about 1/2 way through the book. This book points back to tons of other writers, articles and more throughout the book and that is what is connecting me with it. I think the basic thesis of the book is largely agreeable to me: there are very economic reasons why we want the people of the world constantly distracted and constantly consuming. It is an important act to ignore the churn, to think deeply and to unplug. What I like about the book is that Odell is also outlining all the pitfalls of large scale efforts for groups to unplug (60s communes most particularly). On top of that, she seems to frequently point back to how much the process of unplugging is a form of privilege as most don’t have the time/finances to step away.
“How To Do Nothing” connects with me because some of my favorite moments in life haven’t been when I’ve been in some sort of monastic retreat. My favorite moments have been when I’ve felt tremendous focus and sense of purpose while present among my community, among my potential distractions. The singular focus I had for years on getting Heiruspecs up to a national level of prominence, the focus I felt trying to get my college education, my focus on trying to provide the best backing band that sweat could buy for Dessa. This book is helping me remember that I am losing something every time I slide to twitter while programming music on the Current, every time I read the headline and skip the article on the New York Times website.
That’s some thoughts about books for you.
The Future Has Never Been Better
Many scenes, worlds and realities are changing before our eyes right now. Ideas that seemed implausible weeks ago are now being considered seriously across the globe. Minneapolis is at the center of a lot of these conversations, it’s where George Floyd was brutally murdered, it’s the city that is getting the most attention for considering abolishing the police. A quick aside: I enjoy conversations about abolishing the police more with people who have read MPD150. I don’t think you’ll necessarily agree with all of the findings. But, too often in conversations about drastic changes to policing in America there is a claim that no one has done research, nobody has worked on it. That it is just hippy dippy navel gazing. This website should shut down that accusation, regardless of your feelings about the future of policing.
There has also been a huge upheaval in the Twin Cities music community. There has been reckonings about racists, misogynists, rapists and abusers within our scene. The whisper network comprised largely of women who spent decades building a support and protection network has come to the center, with many whispered allegations now being shouted. Beyond the accusations about specific actions about specific people, it is finally being recognized that our scene has been an incubator for empowering sexual aggressors, racists and platforms that devalue under represented voices. I am by no means an outsider, unconnected voice in these problems. I work at The Current, a media organization that many in our community are frustrated with. I have played music, shared bills and friendships with individuals accused of abusive, misogynistic and racist behavior. I spend some time every week thinking about the ways in which my personal behavior, my programming choices, my curatorial choices, my musical choices helped and hurt this scene. Moments where I used my voice and my privilege to be a force of good, and moments when my work was a part of the problem. What I don’t worry much about is the future of the scene.
People might think that there is no scene beyond the current biggest players in the scene. Or, people think that the art made by lesser-known artists in our scene is subpar. This is wrong. Our scene is bursting with wildly talented artists who have never gotten a big local spotlight inside the larger Twin Cities scene. I should note here: a lot of artists I’m thinking have had an incredible career, fed their families and themselves, toured the world and received rave reviews in other cities across the globe. When I talk about the big spotlight I am thinking about things including: heavy rotation on the Current or Go Media and other stations that feature local music, routine and thoughtful coverage in Mpls St. Paul Magazine, Minnesota Monthly, City Pages, Star Tribune et cetera, opening opportunities for national artists.
A lot of artists, organizations, labels, producers and more are already shining and can lead this scene to a better place. What do I mean by better? I mean that the celebrated, amplified, well-compensated artists in Minnesota could look more like the Minnesota we all live in. I live in a Minnesota with black folks, I live in a Minnesota rich with other languages, I live in a Minnesota with trans artists. But, I hear a Minnesota, and I read a Minnesota where black artists, trans artists, women artists, POC artists and more are presented as a side dish if they are presented at all. Worth acknowledging: I’m part of that history, of dropping in a side dish from an artist from an under-represented community in a show I program with none of the discipline it takes to introduce an audience to a new artist in a meaningful way. This moment is an overdue opportunity to break out of that anachronism. The spirit of this moment is having an impact on my programming, on who I interview (particularly when interviews became more feasible to do safety wise). I have been coming up dry when I try to work as an artist right now, but I believe when I can find my artistic spirit again it will have an impact on my writing and my collaborations.
This moment of rebirth, of redefinition is going to make our scene better. There are growing pains, the loudest voices in our scene have well developed teams to promote and spread their art and their voices. Some of the most talented artists from Minnesota have long since given up on Minnesota media coverage after years of being tokenized or 100% ignored. The trust needs to be rebuilt and it has to start with the former ignorers, not the ignored. But the big names in town do not by any means have a monopoly on talent. Nor do they have a monopoly on media coverage on the national stage or in other regions. It is time to start hearing and reading the Minnesota we already live in.
Care for a soundtrack? A duo called Illism recently dropped a playlist called “The Rebrand: Minneapolis Hip Hop”. It features so many great artists coming straight out of Minnesota. Throw it on and get excited about the future.
Small Things I Will Continue Post Quarantine
Mostly, the fact that it is unclear when we will return to anything resembling normal is harrowing, heartbreaking and dangerous. My daughter’s daycare is open and that is a relief, but I cannot imagine navigating having school age kids and not knowing when they can go back or how safe they’ll be. Here’s a couple things I am excited to keep doing after we return to some sense of normalcy.
Planning Menus in Advance
Pre-COVID my wife and I might plan our meals one, maybe two days in advance. That turns out to limit how long one can get excited about their different meals. I’m having slow cooker vegetarian lasagna on Saturday night. Yes, it has carrots and kale and it’s great. But I get to spend days thinking about it, looking forward to it. And I’ll wake up on Saturday with no confusion about what I’m setting up. Less stress before going in to the radio station. And, you can save money by shopping advance, planning et cetera. And in my relationship, when we plan, the responsibility is more evenly distribute. (emphasis on the more, as I don’t want to pretend like the work of our home is evenly distributed).
Eating Vegetarian More Often
For a handful of months the slaughterhouses of America were uniquely dangerous incubators for COVID outbreaks. There are 365-days-a-year problem with our food production system granted, but I can’t believe that we mandated that the meat plants stay open when folks were getting sick for us to get our meat. Did you read about the Victory Gardens in WWII? Are you aware that you could have a grilled cheese? I get that grocery stores have to stay open, but we coulda closed the meat plants for awhile. So I want out of that as much as possible. I can’t yet go 100% vegetarian, lunch being a particularly meat centric part of my diet, but, I’m doing a lot less.
ZOOMing
Let’s be clear, ZOOM being the only available form of social engagement is absolute crap. It’s no substitute and it is exhausting. But, there are a lot of meetings that I will be zooming into for the rest of history. Some new company has some new loyalty program where when you buy a beer it tells a bunny a trivia question for charity. . .set up a ZOOM and let’s talk BUDDY!
Kicking It With My Neighbors
I knew my neighbors before COVID started. We’d been to some parties at people’s houses, we had some good laughs. But now we see each other for a weekly happy hour. We text as a group maybe like four times a week. It is not NextDoor b.s. about a suspicious looking tree stump we noticed around the neighborhood. We joke, we borrow groceries, we have fun. I’m sticking with that. Why didn’t I do more of that. You can drink comfortably with friends without having to drive home!
Still Social. Less Social Media.
The less I look at Twitter, the better I feel. Some twitter stuff I have to do for more jobs. Some of it, I’m just addicted too. And lately, the bad information will sneak up on you with no warning, with no context and with no discernible action. So, blessed with this accidental Tuesday off from most of my professional duties. . .I decided to actually get a squarespace site up to speed, partially so I could talk a little bit more here.
I played tennis today against Zach, one of my favorite neighbors. He beat me, but not badly. I was reminded how mercilessly exhausting tennis is. I was very thankful for that type of workout. I also did an exercise my friend Amy swears by, it’s a beginning HIIT video by Joe Wicks. I made a beautiful banh-mi beef recipe from NYT. I listened to a podcast from Ezra Klein and I cleaned my porch. I was supposed to go tubing today, but the weather wasn’t conducive to such a thing. Frankly, I’m glad, I feel rejuvenated after getting to spend some time getting ahead on projects I’m always behind on.